ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
