he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
