bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I am available for nakedness
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
