yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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