I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
