I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
