I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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