shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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