Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.