Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick

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(317): i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick http://tfl.nu/0icp

Replies (21) Good night (3818) Bad night (1004)
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(801): View more from Utah

Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.

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(801): Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list. http://tfl.nu/2ara

Replies (129) Good night (3033) Bad night (620)
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(415): View more from California

how hairy? two words: wookie tits

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(415): how hairy? two words: wookie tits http://tfl.nu/0tmt

Replies (32) Good night (853) Bad night (5886)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty

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(402): i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty http://tfl.nu/i6m7

Replies (95) Good night (3256) Bad night (1137)
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(626): View more from California

Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.

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(626): Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong. http://tfl.nu/y718

Replies (38) Good night (3297) Bad night (681)
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(740): View more from Ohio

I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..

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(740): I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep.. http://tfl.nu/e7l5

Replies (39) Good night (8354) Bad night (921)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.

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(724): You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night. http://tfl.nu/vcog

Replies (16) Good night (5271) Bad night (1158)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife

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(306): Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife http://tfl.nu/6k5s

Replies (15) Good night (1173) Bad night (7100)
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(480): View more from Arizona

New game: find the sober person in Tbell

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(480): New game: find the sober person in Tbell http://tfl.nu/sv6g

Replies (8) Good night (4697) Bad night (987)
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(515): View more from Iowa

I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time

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(515): I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time http://tfl.nu/arsj

Replies (18) Good night (3636) Bad night (1843)
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(360): View more from Washington

He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.

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(360): He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish. http://tfl.nu/ae8m

Replies (11) Good night (3237) Bad night (850)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity

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(717): There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity http://tfl.nu/xz3u

Replies (6) Good night (1984) Bad night (964)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.

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(613): Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in. http://tfl.nu/gv1u

Replies (3) Good night (1088) Bad night (462)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.

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(330): Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing. http://tfl.nu/k9wn

Replies (9) Good night (1261) Bad night (456)
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(986): View more from

He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?

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(986): He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me? http://tfl.nu/140p

Replies (11) Good night (268) Bad night (590)

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