Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
