I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
