I faked an abortion last night.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
