'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
