i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
