I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Congratulations! We have a period
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
