I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
