Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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