bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
oh god the rape fog is back!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You made out with two different species that night
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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