you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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