he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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