Dude my mom stole all your condoms
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize