I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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