Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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