mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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