Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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