i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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