Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
