i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
