: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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