Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
