I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
