I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
