O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think I won the penis lottery.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
