Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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