I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
