i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I wish i was in the wii world.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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