every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
