Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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