you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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