oh god the rape fog is back!
my sisters under your porch take her home
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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