I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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