Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize