So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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