How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
