you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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