you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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