I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
