Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
