mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
