He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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