You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts