fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
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i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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