We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.