I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
