This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao