hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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