In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
