I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
