I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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