she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
