Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just high enough for therapy.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Randomize