Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
