It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
