Kiss
Puke
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
